Beautiful Sorrows
by T.Batt
Summary: Bella is raped by her exboyfriend Jacob, becomes scared of men, and ends up publishing a fictional book based upon it to help her out of her depression. She becomes restless and moves in with Charlie. When she meets Edward, how will he help her?
1. Prologue editted

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A/N: I just reuploaded this chapter after I edited a bit.

I don't not own Twilight or any of the characters. Stephenie Meyer does. Seriously. Go ask her. She definetly wouldn't want anything to do with my story.

Bella Swan is raped by her ex-boyfriend Jacob Black(who the police can't catch), and falls into a deep depression, has horrible nightmares about that night, and becomes fearful of all men. After talking to her mother after a nightmare, Bella decides to write down what happened to her since she can't speak it aloud. One thing lead to another, and her real story becomes a fictional published book. Bella submerges herself into the publishing process to keep her mind off of her depression. Once the book is released, Bella becomes restless and moves in with her father Charlie, the only man she isn't scared of, in Forks, Washington. When her first day at a new school ends badly, she finds an extremely persistant, handsome boy wanting to be her friend. Just as things are becoming good in her life for the first time in a year, Bella's secret book becomes a 1# New York Time's Bestseller, and Jacob comes back.

Eh. I hope that catches your attention. The story is all human, blahblahblah..Read on, lovelies!

Prologue

I drove down the nearly-empty high way in my faded red '55 Chevy truck with the windows rolled down to St Mary's, Georgia blasting Bon Jovi through the radio. This should be the start of my happy love story, but it isn't. A normal, happy love story wouldn't start out with a broken girl desperately trying to flee from her old, disturbing life. A normal, happy love story wouldn't start out with rape.

Prologue, **Beautiful Sorrows**

It was dark. Pitch black. My heart was pounding as I ran through the maze of alleys. I knew my attempts would be fruitless, but I knew I would hate myself later if I just stood there and did nothing. So I ran. I could hear heavy footsteps right behind me. I felt a strong hand grab my wrist and slam me into a wall, knocking the breath out of me and the phone out of my hand. He pinned me to the wall, and then he talked.

"I'll show you you love me! There's no way you could _not _love me! You can't break up with me! I'll show you, I'll show you!" he whisper-yelled into my ear. I gasped.

His hot breath on my ear and neck made me nauseous. My head was spinning. This couldn't be happening to me. It couldn't. I'd wake up any minute now.

Jacob's lips slamming onto mine destroyed my hopes immediately. This was definitely not a dream.

His tongue shoved into my mouth and his hands tore at my clothing. My struggling was fruitless. He was too strong. Too soon, I was standing there completely naked.

He kept me pinned against the wall as he looked at me with a sickening gaze and undid his belt with one hand. I was about to scream, but he knew what I was about to do. He knew me too well.

Jacob threw a hand over my mouth. "If you scream or try to get away, I will kill you." I started sobbing.

He looked around, then threw his shoe off and slipping off his sock. He released my mouth only long enough to gag me with the sock. He finished taking off his pants, pulled himself out of his boxers. _No, no, no! Nononononononono! This can't happen! Stop!_

His positioned himself in front of me, mumbling,"You'll love me after this, Bella. You will. You'll love me, you'll love me, you'll love me..."

__

"NO!"

I shot straight up in my bed. I was shaking, covered in a cold sweat. I was still screaming when Renee ran into my room. Once she was sitting on my bed and I was wrapped into her soft arms I started sobbing.

"It's alright, baby. He can't get you. You're alright. It's ok, it's ok." she whispered soothingly until I calmed down.

I did this every night ever since that horrible night two monthes ago. I would wake up screaming from that same dream. _Every single freaking night._ It was so real...Because it _was_ real.

I was a mess. I was thin and pale. I barely ate anymore. I couldn't sleep. I rarely said anything. I just sat in my room all day, staring at the wall. Or reading. That was better than the staring. The staring scared my mom, which was understandable. It would scare me if my daughter just sat in her room all day, staring at a wall. So I read. _A lot._ Just to make my mom worry less.

I felt like a nuisance to Renee, now. My incident had led to strains in my mother's marriage to Phil, the only thing she's ever settled with, because I couldn't be around him. Or any man, for that matter. Renee wouldn't leave my side no matter how hard I tried to convince her to do otherwise. So she barely saw Phil now. Renee tried to tell me that it was alright, but I could see in her eyes that it wasn't.

"Are you alright now?" Renee asked tentatively.

I nodded weakly. "Yeah, I'm fine. You can go back to sleep." I knew very well Renee wouldn't sleep. Who could after all of that? I also knew I was not fine, but I couldn't worry Renee any more than necessary.

"Bella..." _Oh, boy._

"Hmmm?"

"Maybe you should think about going to counseling, sweetheart. You're not getting any better. I mean, I know it's only been two months, but maybe you'd feel better talking to someone."

I sighed. "Mom, I told you. I'm not ready. I can't talk about it yet. To anyone." Renee sighed.

"Fine. It was just a thought. Goodnight, sweetheart." Renee kissed my forehead and headed out of my room.

I gazed around my room. It was almost completely bare. Just furniture and a boat-load of books. I had removed anything that could possibly remind me of _him_. No pictures or CDs. None of my personal items remained in my room. They were all packed away or in some junk yard somewhere.

I drew in a shakey breath. I had lied to my mother. I did need to tell someone about what happened, but I couldn't bring myself to. I couldn't. But I needed to get it out of my head, somehow. It was just stuck in my head driving me crazy. Whether that was a literal statement, I couldn't tell you. Then a light bulb blinked on in my mind.

__

Yes! Of course!

I hurried over to my computer and switched it on. While waiting for it to turn on, I thought about what I was about to do. Would it work? Or would it make me worse? Maybe it wouldn't do anything at all. I hoped for the first option.

Once the computer was on, I opened Microsoft Word. I sat there staring at the empty white page. I hadn't done this in forever. Write anything, that is. I used to do this all the time. I used to write poems, mostly, but an occasional book-lengthed story flew from my fingertips. Those had all been printed out and stored away before I deleted them from my computer the day I cleared out my room. I cried the most doing that. It was like I had deleted my life from this computer. I took a deep breath and started to type.

I started at the beginning of that day. It was a normal day. Breakfast with Renee and Phil, then a short drive to school, and I met up with my bestfriends Maggie and Jane. We made plans to go shopping that day after school. I knew it was an attempt by my friends to cheer me up, even though I hated shopping. I had broken up with my boyfriend Jacob. He had been my best friend since pre-K(mud pies and all that jazz), and we started dating a year ago. It felt like the natural thing to do, but I felt nothing. No love except the kind I felt for him before we started dating. It felt more like how I'd love a brother, not a boyfriend. So I broke it off a week ago.

I hated doing it because I knew it would end our friendship completely. I just didn't know Jacob would take it so hard. I didn't know he loved me so much more than I did him. He was furious. He didn't believe me, saying I was just scared. Of course, I denied this. I wasn't scared of falling in love. I just didn't love him like he loved me, and I told him this. Big mistake. He started yelling at me, begging me to stay with him. Jacob said that I would love him soon if I just stayed with him. It was a crazy idea, it would never work. He broke down then, and it broke my heart. I tried to hug him, but he shoved my away and told me to leave. So I did. I hadn't heard from him since.

So after school I went home to get ready. I was going to meet up with them there later. Once I'd gotten ready, I headed off for town. I met them there, and we shopped our butts off. Ok, Maggie and Jane shopped their butts off, I mostly watched them, though I did get a few things.

In one particular store I was bored out of my mind, and I told my friends I was going over to the bookstore three streets over and that I would meet them at the restraunt we planned on eatting at after shopping. It was dark by then, so I hurried, deciding to take a shortcut through an alley. It was then that I heard the footsteps. I started running and pulling my cell phone out of my pocket. There was nothing else I could do.

It was dark. Pitch black. My heart was pounding as I ran through the maze of alleys. I knew my attempts would be fruitless, but I knew I would hate myself later if I just stood there and did nothing. So I ran. I could hear heavy footsteps right behind me. I felt a strong hand grab my wrist and slam me into a wall, knocking the breath out of me and the phone out of my hand. He pinned me to the wall, and then he talked.

"I'll show you you love me! There's no way you could _not _love me! You can't break up with me! I'll show you, I'll show you!" he whisper-yelled into my ear. I gasped.

His hot breath on my ear and neck made me nauseous. My head was spinning. This couldn't be happening to me. It couldn't. I'd wake up any minute now.

Jacob's lips slamming onto mine destroyed my hopes immediately. This was definitely not a dream.

His tongue shoved into my mouth and his hands tore at my clothing. My struggling was fruitless. He was too strong. Too soon, I was standing there completely naked.

He kept me pinned against the wall as he looked at me with a sickening gaze and undid his belt with one hand. I was about to scream, but he knew what I was about to do. He knew me too well.

Jacob threw a hand over my mouth. "If you scream or try to get away, I will kill you." I started sobbing.

He looked around, then threw his shoe off and slipping off his sock. He released my mouth only long enough to gag me with the sock. He finished taking off his pants, pulled himself out of his boxers. _No, no, no! Nononononononono! This can't happen! Stop!_

His positioned himself in front of me, mumbling,"You'll love me after this, Bells. You will. You'll love me, you'll love me, you'll love me..."

Once he was done with me, he threw on his clothes and ran off, leaving me there. I sank to the ground and curled into a ball in shock. I don't know how long I laid there, but I finally heard voices. I didn't know what they were saying, but they were getting closer. I felt the instinct to get up and run. It could be someone else coming to hurt me, but I was beyond caring. I almost hoped someone would come to finish me off.

But it wasn't someone who was coming to hurt me, it was a couple of police officers coming to save me. _Too late._Realizing what had happened to me, one of them quickly covered me up while another talked into a walky talky thing telling them where they found me. They asked who had done this to me, but I couldn't say anything, even though I wanted to desperately. I just couldn't form the words. I just sat there staring at nothing.

"Ok. Let's get you out of here." one of them said. He bent down to pick me up, but I was already up, screaming bloody murder, and backing myself into a corner. The police officer backed away slowly with his hands up telling me it was ok, he wouldn't touch me. Once I stopped screaming and sank back down into the corner, he called for a woman officer to help. It was then that it truly hit me what had happened. It was all too much for me, and I blacked out.

I woke up in a hospital bed connected to all sorts of tubes and monitors. Renee was sitting next to me, her face red and blotchy frome crying asking me if I was alright. I didn't answer. I wasn't alright, of course. A woman police officer came into the room then.

"Hi there, Bella. I'm Sara. Glad to see you awake. I was wondering if you could tell me who did this to you?"

I stared at her for a minute, trying to get the word to form on my tongue. Sara opened her mouth, about to give up, thinking I wouldn't say anything when I finally said it.

"Jacob."

After that I stayed in the hospital for a few days. They made sure I wouldn't get pregnant and a bunch of other things I didn't care to remember. I barely said a word the whole time I was there. A woman came once to talk about counseling, but I said nothing. I knew I couldn't do it. Not yet, at least.

Once Phil came into the room, and I started screaming. He didn't come back after that. I learned that he moved into a hotel later. A suggestion from the doctor.

After getting home I just sat in my room, staring at a wall. I looked around my room once, a week later, and it snapped me out of my silence. There was too much stuff in there that reminded me of _him_. I had already taken out pictures of _him_ and presents _he_ had given me a week ago, but _he_ had been in that room too many times. _His_ mark was left on everything. I yelled to Renee for boxes and trash bags, which she got for me reluctantly. I could tell she was deciding which Bella she liked better, comatose Bella, or psycho Bella. I think she picked psycho Bella.

Once everything was cleared from my room and removed effectively, I went back to being comatose Bella. I barely ate, had that horrible nightmare every night, and barely talked. Once Maggie and Jane came over, but I ignored them. I couldn't talk to them. They never came back. I knew my school knew what happened to me, but I was beyond caring at that point.

The police never found Jacob, and that's what scared me the most. I was afraid he'd come back. I was alert every second of the day, watching for him. It was exhausting, but I couldn't let my guard down. I was too scared.

Renee tried to get me to go to counseling once, but I threw a fit. It was pretty embarrassing, really. There was screaming and throwing involved and I'm pretty sure I stomped my foot once. Pathetic. But she didn't ask me again.

Eventually I started to come back a little. I ate more, talked more, and started to read. I sent Renee off multiple times with a list of books to get.

But that's as far as I've gotten. I don't think I'll ever get past this point.

I typed in excruciating detail trying to get it all out of my system. The entire time I typed my heart was beating out of my chest, my hands shook, and tears ran down my cheeks. I don't know how long I sat there, but when I finally got to the end, to present time, atleast, I clicked the save button. I looked out the window and the sun was up.

I looked at the clock._ 8:00 a.m. _I stretched, groaning at the stiffness I had inherited from sitting for so long. I sat and stared at the computer screen. I actually felt better. Not one hudred percent, of course, but..._better._ My stomach growled, and for the first time I actually felt like eating. _Maybe it worked!_ I knocked on my desk, which was wooden, three times before I got up and went downstairs.

I hurried to the kitchen where I found Renee reading the paper.

"Mornin' Mom." Renee's head shot up. Her face was priceless. I hadn't said that in two months, as simple a phrase as it was.

"Ummm...Good morning to you too, Bella." Renee repeated warily. She studied my face to see if I was putting on some sort of act. When I opened the fridge and started pulling out food to make some scrambled eggs and bacon Renee almost fell out of her chair. I smirked. It felt good.

Renee just stared at me with her mouth open in shock the entire time I made my breakfast, which I ignored to my best ability. She stared when I sat down across the table from her and took the first bite of food. I was ravaged, but I paced myself. The last thing I wanted to do was eat too fast and throw up. Nothing like vomit to ruin a decent mood.

When I was done eating, I pushed my plate back, crossed my arms, and stared back at Renee. She blinked comically, her eyes going from my face to the empty plate in front of me several times before she she croaked a, "Whaaa...".

I didn't give her a chance to finish, "Last night when you went back to bed to not-sleep, I thought about what you said. Then I got an idea. I can't actually _say_ what happened, so I wrote it all down. From the beginning of that day till now. I feel better, now. I'm no where near back to normal, but good enough that I just ate. Don't get your hopes up, though, because this could all just be some sort of emotional high that could come crashing down at any second."

Renee's jaw was so low that it was practically on the table by the time I was through. I'm pretty sure it was a mixture of what I said and the fact that I just spoke more in those thirty seconds than I had in two months.

Renee's jaw snapped shut, and she looked at me like she wanted to say something before she finally looked at me warily and said, "Can I read it?" Uhhh...

"Mom...not yet. I'm not really ready for anyone else to know, but I will let you read it eventually. I promise."

"Ok, honey. Whenever you feel you're ready. No pressure." She said 'no pressure', but I could see the raging curiosity in her eyes. I just nodded and muttered thanks. I got up and put my plate in the sink, excusing myself to take a shower.

I took a long, hot shower, scrubbing at my skin like I was washing off the last two months. I was waiting for my 'high' as I called it earlier to come to a crashing halt, but it never did. The entire day.

I watched TV with Renee, talking to her about random things. She never brought up anything about what happened, probably scared it would end my mood and send me back upstairs to stare at a blank wall.

It had been more than two months since I felt this good. My chest a fraction felt lighter. There was actual emotion in my voice, unlike the zombie-like voice I had used for the past two months. But don't get me wrong. I definitely wasn't back to normal. I tried my hardest to keep all bad thoughts out of my head.

Night-time came too soon, but I was exhausted. I didn't want to face the dream and ruin everything. But I did. Almost as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out. Unfortunately, I still had the dream, but I didn't wake up screaming. I was shaken, but I laid back down and went back to sleep, only to wake up at 10:00 a.m.

I got up and turned on the computer, opening what I wrote yesterday. I started sobbing, sitting at the computer for a long time while I got it all out of my system.

Then an idea hit me, ending the sobbing. I opened a new page. A story had popped into my head. Something crazy enough that it worked. What if I took my story and tacked a happy ending on it?

I went into crazy typing mode. Not the kind of typing from last night, but the kind of typing from three months ago. The kind of typing I did when I wrote a story.

I worked on my crazy story for a month. It was about a girl who got raped, moved to a new town and fell in love with a boy. It sounds silly when you write a one sentence summary like that, but this was _good._ Not trying to be cocky or vain or anything, but this was the best thing I'd ever written.

I'd switched the names to Veronica "Rony" Sounds for my character, Oliver White for _him_, and for my romantic love interest, Mason Burnes. In the story my character is raped and spends months locked up inside herself, scared of all men. One day she snaps and sends herself off to live with her father in a small town on the coast of Georgia. She enrolls into the high school there, ending up being the weird, crazy girl that is scared of boys. When a new family moves to town, Rony is forced to sit next to one of the new guys in literature. They are attracted to each other at once, though they won't admit it. Rony keeps her distance because of her fear, but Mason figures out why she's like she is. They fall in love, and Mason helps her get over her past. And they live happily ever after...In a much less cheesy way, of coarse. By the time the story was finished, it was a thousand pages long.

You'd think that writing that story would make me worse, but it did the opposite. It made me thing that maybe what I wrote could actually happen. It wasn't realistic, but it gave me hope. I wasn't over what happened to me at all, though. It still haunted me, but I wasn't staring at walls anymore. I talked more, gained my weight back, ect...I could even wake myself up about a quarter way through the dream before things got too bad. I even let my mom read what I'd written the first night, the real story, and it about killed her. My life was better, but I wasn't healed.

On a whim I sent my book to several publishing companies, never thinking anyone would like it. I was wrong. I got many no's back until the unthinkable happened. The last company, the largest one in the country, the 'dlikeit company said yes. _Yes. _They said _yes! _I couldn't believe it, Volturi Publishing liked my book. Loved it actually. Their words, not mine.

I got together with my new, lovely publicist Heidi Ballantine in New York and did everything there was you had to do to publish a book. We discussed it, talked about titles, covers, the interior designs, worked with the editors, and did a boatload of paperwork. Seriously, if I ever heard the phrase 'dot the I's and cross the T's' one more time I might puke. Literally.

It took forever to come up with a title. Nothing sounded right. I laid in bed trying to think up a title one night, but gave up and drifted to sleep. That night I dreamed my dream in it's entirety, but something different happened at the end. Right at the place where I usually wake up, the words _"Beautiful Sorrows" _popped into was a perfect fit. I woke up and wrote it down so I wouldn't forget it. That morning I called Heidi and told her the title. She was ecstatic, saying that it was perfect.

The cover of the book was perfect, also. The entire book was black with a door opening to a sunny beach. A perfect metaphor.

I dedicated the book to Renee because, _'if it wasn't for her, I never would've written this.' _

The entire process was amazing and kept my mind off things. I had started off scared and tentative, but towards the end I was chatting with everyone I worked with(all women, men still terrified me, and I kept away from them). I almost felt like I was back to normal.

The book was released December 7th, exactly ten months after the incident. We were sent twenty copies of my book to hand out to friends and family. Instead we took one copy, I autographed it, and set it on a newly-hung shelf in the living room. I autographed one more book and sent it to my dad, Charlie, in Forks.

The day after my book was released I became restless. I had nothing more to pre-occupy my time with. I went to bed that night in a bad mood and woke up laying in my bed for a long time thinking. I wanted to get out of here, out of Phoenix. I didn't want to have to look over my shoulder, constantly worrying _he _would come back. I _needed_ to get out of here, and there was only one way I could do that.

I made up my mind, knowing that it would hurt Renee, which killed me, but I knew this was the best thing I could do for myself.

I picked up my phone and dialed Charlie's number thinking about how ironic the situation was.

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A/N:

Blec. I hate first chapters. I find them extremely difficult to write. Please review! Please?

P.S. I'm on the hunt for a beta. I don't know how to get one, or anything, so let me know if you're interested, and I'll get back to you! I really need the help.

Please review! Loves ya! MWUAH!


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_I drove down the nearly-empty highway in my faded, red '55 Chevy truck with the windows rolled down to 's, Georgia blasting Bon Jovi through the radio. In the seat next to me was my suitcase and my carry-on holding all the contents of my life. Let's just say there's not much in those bags..._

_Chapter 4, __**Beautiful Sorrows**_

I rode in the passenger seat of a police cruiser staring out the window planning all the ways of escape I could think of.

No, I wasn't being hauled off to jail, I was riding home with my police chief father, Charlie, from the airport in Port Angeles to Forks, Washington. Sure, it doesn't sound that bad, but when you grow up in the sunny, bustling city of Phoenix, Arizona, a place that has rain only around five times a year and a brown color palette, this tiny, green, wet place would feel like a prison to you, too.

Forks is a tiny logging town an hour outside of Port Angeles that occupies 3,456, now 57, people. It rains almost constantly, and greenery grows everywhere. Places I never thought anything could grow on had some sort of green, mushy plant growing on it. Oh, and Charlie _loves_ it here.

Charlie is the chief of police in the microscopic town that is known as Forks, Washington, the rainiest place in the continental U.S. He takes his job very seriously, though nothing happens in Forks other than an occasional rain-induced car accident and a boat load of speeders. He is a calm, quiet man who likes to keep to himself. I am just like him. I didn't know Charlie that well, not like Renee, but I loved him just the same.

I stared out the window thinking about all I left behind. My mom, Renee, and her husband, Phil, my house, the sun...Uhhh...the sun? Ok, so I didn't leave much behind. I didn't have any friends, or anything like that anymore.

But I still felt horrible leaving Renee, my best friend and mom, to fend for herself. She was erratic and child-like. Renee was flighty. She moved from one hobby to the next, never able to settle on something for more than a month. I'm pretty sure she's went through every hobby and craft known to mankind. Scrapbooking, pottery, yoga, book club, cooking lessons, skeet shooting...Yeah. Skeet shooting. _That _didn't end well. I was always the adult in the relationship, taking care of Renee instead of the other way around. But Renee had Phil, her husband of two years, and the only thing she's ever really settled on, now. He would take care of her. I still shuddered, though, thinking about Renee cooking for herself. I never even let her around a plastic knife when I was at home, she was that scary in a kitchen. I made sure to put a list of her favorite take-out's phone numbers in plain view on the fridge before I left.

Charlie and Renee had gotten married young, had me, then got divorced soon afterwards. Renee couldn't stand Forks. She ran away with me to Phoenix, Arizona, where we rarely ever saw rain. I hated Forks as much as Renee.

She'd asked me atleast thirty times if I was sure I wanted to move to Forks at the airport, alone.

"Are you sure you want to go, Honey? We can get your bags and go home right now. Charlie will understand. You don't have to go and do this. We can figure something out." Renee asked just as I was about to get on the plane. It took everything in me not to run screaming for the desert, to not get on that plane and submit myself to that horrible, wet town named after silverware.

"I _want_ to go, Mom. It will be good for me to get away. I need this," I partially lied through my teeth. The first part was a lie, the second part was questionable, and the last part was the absolute truth. So I hugged Renee goodbye, and got on the plane.

The plane ride was torturous. There were men _everywhere, _and I counted the seconds before we landed. Thank goodness I didn't have to sit next to one of them because I would've ended up being that nervous, suspicious-looking person they had to land the plane for and check their underwear for bombs. That would've been something.

But I'm the one who got myself into this situation. After being raped ten months ago, I felt the need to get out of the place where it happened. So I called Charlie begging him to let me live with him. So here I am.

Ok, so maybe it wasn't that simple. I'll start again.

Hello, my name is Isabella Marie Swan, I'm sixteen, and I was raped by my long-time best friend and ex-boyfriend Jacob Black(who is still on the loose, by the way). I became practically comatose for two months, and I have inherited a fear of all men except for Charlie. I decided to write down what happened to me when I found myself unable to speak it aloud, and somehow that turned into a full-length fictional book of how I _wish_my real life story would end. Oh, yeah, and I got it published by Volturi Publishing, the largest publishing company in the world. Yeah, no big deal. So after my book _"Beautiful Sorrows"_ was published, I found myself with nothing to preoccupy myself from my incident anymore, and I desperately called Charlie and begged him to let me live with him. So, I packed my bags and left Renee with Phil, and flew to Washington. So here I am. Happy now?

I glanced over a Charlie and sighed lightly. We'd been sitting in an awkward silence for a good forty-five minutes, now. Charlie tried to start a conversation when we first got into the car, but it ended ten seconds.

Now, don't think this is because I don't like Charlie. That's not it at all. I love him, but that's just how we are. We aren't open with our emotions. We keep to ourselves. We're quiet. We know that we love each other, we just don't openly tell each other. That's just how we are.

We finally pulled up to my new/old home. I scanned the little, two-story historic home with faded yellow paint and white shutters. A large oak sat on the left of the house. The three acre lot it sat on was surrounded by the woods.

Charlie and I jumped out into the drizzle, me grabbing my carry-on, Charlie dragging my suitcase, which held more books than anything else. I had very few possessions, especially clothes. Living in Phoenix meant I didn't own anything suitable for cold, wet weather. I was planning on going shopping to get whatever I needed later.

I stepped into the house and looked around at the house-that-never-changed. You walk into the foyer, the stairs to the left, a door to an out-dated kitchen with yellow cabinets and a mix-matched table and chairs to the right. The cabinets were Renee's doing when she and Charlie were still married. You walk straight from the foyer, down a short hallway into the living room which contained mix-matched furniture, a flat screen TV, and multiple embarrassing pictures of me from when I was little. There was a doorway in the living room that led to the kitchen, also.

Nothing had changed. At all.

We went straight upstairs with Charlie huffing and puffing the whole way up. I really should've packed more paperbacks.

At the top of the stairs was the only bathroom in the house that I had somehow forgotten about. _That should be interesting._ To the right was Charlie's room, and to the left was mine.

Ever since I was a little kid I would come to Forks for a month during the summer and stay with Charlie. I hated it. Fish was always somehow involved atleast four times a stay, whether it was fishing or the cleaning of fish. I still shuddered to this day every time I see a fish. I finally put my foot down when I was fourteen, and for the last couple of years Charlie would come down to California for two weeks to stay.

The mix-matchedeverythingisthesame theme in the house was the same in my room. A full bed sat against one wall, a desk and chair on another, a chest of drawers next to the bed, and a bookshelf next to the desk. A quilt cover my bed, a rug on the floor, and yellowed, lace curtains hung in front of the bay window. That was about it.

Charlie set my suitcase on the bed with a groan. "What did you pack in here, Bells? Bricks?"

"Books."

"Figures," Charlie mumbled. "Well...I'll leave you to unpack. I'll be downstairs if you need me," Charlie said, edging to the door. "Glad you're home, Bells," he said before hurrying downstairs.

I stood there for a minute listening to the rain pick up, and beat on the tin roof. _Who puts a tin roof on a house in Forks?_ A single tear slipped down my cheek, but wiped it away quickly. I wasn't going to cry right now...That was for tonight.

I got to work unpacking my things, shoving my few clothes into the chest of drawers. I was organizing all my books on my bookshelf in alphabetical order when I heard someone drive up in a very loud car.

"Bells! Come outside. I've got something for ya!" Charlie called up to me excitedly. I got up and went downstairs. Just as I stepped outside, I saw a car drive off.

I looked around and spotted Charlie leaning against a faded red '55 Chev--

_What?!?!_

Charlie was leaning against the exact same truck Rony in my book drove. _What the heck is going on?!?!_

"Whatcha think?" Charlie asked excitedly.

"I--wha--how--Da--" I sputtered. I wasn't coherent at the moment. I closed my eyes for a second and opened them again. _Yep. Still there._

"D--did you read my book?" I finally got out. A look of pure confusion spread across Charlie's face. When I'd sent Charlie my book, I'd attached a note telling him he didn't have to read it, what with all it contained and all. I was pretty sure he hadn't read it until now

"Huh?"

"Dad. This is the exact truck the character in my book drives. A faded red 1955 Chevy truck."

"Really? Aw, Bells, I had no idea. I can get you a different car--"

"No, no," I interrupted," I actually really like it. I picked it for my book because I always wanted one," I laughed. "You really didn't have to buy me a car, Dad. I was going to get one myself."

"I wasn't going to make you buy your own car. Consider this a homecoming present."

"Thank you," I said and awkwardly hugged him, which he awkwardly hugged back.

After examining my new truck, we went back inside. I finished unpacking, and went downstairs, where Charlie had pizza waiting. We ate in the living room and watched a football game. I had no interest in football, but I watched it anyways because I had nothing else to do.

Once it was an appropriate time, I told Charlie good night , and went upstairs. I grabbed my bag of toiletries and headed into the bathroom to take a shower. I felt grimy after all the traveling.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror while I waited for the water to get warm. I was very plain. Long brown hair that reached my waist, brown eyes, and pale skin. I was pretty skinny, also, since I haven't exactly been eating well for ten months, and I don't believe I had one muscle on my body. I didn't look like someone to lived in Phoenix all my life. I should atleast be tan. I looked exactly like Charlie. Of course my coloring looked handsome on him.

I was bland, nothing special. _But what does it matter? I'm not looking for a boyfriend or anything. I'm actively _avoiding_ boys, remember?_ Not like I've ever actual _looked_ for a boyfriend before. I laughed at myself in the mirror, my thoughts were becoming ridiculous, and I stepped in the shower.

I took a long shower. The scent of strawberry shampoo floated around me as I tried to relax my muscles and clear my head. I had a big day tomorrow. Charlie enrolled me into Forks High School as soon a he knew I was moving in with him. Nothing got me more excited than the first day at a new school. Scratch that. Nothing got me more _completely terrified _than the first day at a new school.

Renee had moved us around a bit before she went back to Phoenix. So I've had some experience with being the new kid at school. I was terrified everytime. This time would be no exception. It would be worse. This was a small town where everyone knew each other, and barely anyone new moved into town. I was going to be the new freak to stare at.

I hadn't been to school in almost a year. Renee bought some online homeschooloing for me to do because I couldn't go back. I couldn't be around all those boys. I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to deal with my little problem, now. I wasn't exactly healed. Charlie was the only man I could be around, and that was because he was my dad. Just the thought of all those boys in that high school made my breathing pick up.

_So much for relaxing._

I cut off the water, which was cold now, and stepped out of the shower and got dressed in my favorite sweat pants and a t-shirt. I blow dried my hair straight and went to my room.

Once I got my scheduled crying session out of the way I tried to fall asleep, but the rain beating the stupid tin roof to a pulp kept me awake. That, and the thoughts I didn't want to think about now, or ever, threatening to take over my brain.

I sighed and sat up, knowing where my thoughts were wanting to head, but I pushed them away, not wanting to deal with them. Instead I got up and grabbed a random book off a shelf, but as soon as I looked at the cover I shoved it back in it's place. _**Romeo and Juliet. **__Geez._

Frustrated, I went back to bed empty handed. I tossed and turned for awhile, tried punching my pillow to get out my frustration, everything. Nothing was helping getting my thoughts out of my head. In defeat, I let my thoughts loose, knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep till I did.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I woke up screaming. Charlie came running into my room with a baseball bat looking around my room for the perpetrator. He soon realized what was happening, though, and he leaned the bat against the wall before sitting on my bed.

My screams turned to sobs. Charlie stared at me for a second, trying to decide what to do. Finally, he pulled me to him in a strong hug, and murmured soothingly to me. I squeezed his waist like my life depended on it. This was new.

We held onto each like that for I don't know how long. My sobbing had finally quieted, but we still sat like that.

"Thank you," I whispered into Charlie's neck.

"No problem, Bells...I love you," Charlie's voice cracked, "Don't ever hesitate to come to me, ok?" I nodded.

"I love you, too, Dad," I whispered. We sat there for another five minutes.

"You better, now?" Charlie asked leaning back. I nodded, sniffling.

"Yeah. Thank you."

"You think you can sleep?" I shook my head.

"Come on, then, get your coat," Charlie said, pulling me from my bed and leading me downstairs. He grabbed his own coat and opened the front door.

"What are we doing?" I asked.

"I'm going to teach you how to change a tire," he replied. I laughed.

"Ok, then."

Charlie spent the rest of the night with me teaching me how to change a tire. I had no idea what I was doing, but Charlie was really patient. He had me laughing when he told me stories about work. I didn't want the moment to end. I'd never had a father-daughter moment before. I know, it sounds as cheesy as crap, but it's true. Me and Charlie had never done anything like this before. I liked it. A lot. I never realised what I was missing until now.

Unfortunately, the sun had to rise eventually, and we headed inside.

"You think you can go to school today?" Charlie asked me as we headed upstairs.

"Yeah. I'm good, now."

"Ok, just call me if you need me or something happens, though."

"Alright," I said as we got to the top of the stairs. I pulled Charlie into a hug and said thank you once more before I went to my room to get ready.

I knew how to change a flat tire, I was tired, I was nervous about the events of today, and I'd never felt better.

**A/N: Huh? Huh? Whatcha think, lovelies? I know this chapter's a little boring and short, but in the next chapter** **you should be imagining staring deeply into some emerald green eyes... ::winkwink::**

**Thanks to everyone for all the favorites and alerts and stuff! You don't know how good that makes me feel. Virtual hugs to everyone! MWUAH!**

**Also, I made a Twitter account. I have no idea what I'm doing, so it should be intersting. So, follow me? I feel stupid tweeting to no one. Please? ****tbatt247 or there's a link on my profile.**

**Oh, and I noticed after I re-posted the edited version of my prologue that I had titled it **_**Preface.**_** I didn't feel**

**Also, I'm looking for a beta? If you're interested, please let me know! **

**_Do not click that little green button and leave me a review. Do not do it. You don't want to click it. Don't do it!_**

**Haha, a little reverse psychology for you guys. Hopefully it will work. Please review? Please? ****I'll love you forever! **

******See ya'll next chapter, lovelies! MWUAH!**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N : Forgot to do this on the last chapter. Sorry...I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. I simply make Jacob evil, Bella depressed, and Edward...well, who knows...**

**Chapter 2**

_I sat on the sandy beach looking out at the ocean, deep in thought. I didn't know if I could do this. I didn't know if I could just walk into a busy high school with hundreds of boys and be fine with it. Ok, so I knew for a fact that I wouldn't be fine with it. I was an emotionally distressed girl with issues. I would never be different. I was worthless. _

_I sat there wallowing in my own self-pity for a long time, tears running down my cheeks against my will, before I heard something. Footsteps._

_"Excuse me? Miss?" a male voice called out. I froze. My mind was screaming at me to get up and run, but my legs stayed frozen._

_The footsteps got closer, and I felt someone kneel next to me. I involuntarily looked at his face and my breath caught in my throat. _

_I stared into the deepest blue eyes of the most handsome boy I'd ever laid eyes on, unable to look away. I took in his ruffled, brown hair, strong jaw line, and pale skin. He looked about my age. He was gorgeous. _

_"Y-yes?" I stuttered, wiping the tears from my face. He grinned, flashing perfect, pearly-white teeth. My heart rate picked up. And not from fear._

_"I'm sorry to bother you, but you looked kind of sad. I wanted to know if you were alright," he asked nervously. I smiled lightly._

_The need to run vanished, and I knew instantly that this guy was different._

　_Chapter 5, **Beautiful Sorrows**_

I changed into a dark green sweater, jeans, and tennis shoes, brushed my teeth, grabbed my book bag and coat, and headed downstairs. Charlie had already left for work, so I grabbed a granola bar and poured myself a glass of orange juice and headed out the door. And I _would_ trip over the threshold. Not the best way to start a day.

I hurried through the heavy mist to my truck, jumping into the dry cab. I threw my things into the passenger seat, and shoved the key into the ignition.

"Woah!" I yelled out in surprise. I could barely hear myself, though. I seemed to have forgotten that old cars were loud. And my truck was no exception. It sounded like there were ten angry lions in the cab.

"Ok, Simba, settle down," I soothed, petting the dashboard. Simba answered me by dropping to a slightly lower level of loudness and settling. I groaned and headed in the direction of the school. Another reason for people to stare at me. _Lovely._

I pull into a moderately-filled parking lot five minutes later and park as far away from everyone else as possible. I cut the engine, the silence deafening to my ears, and stare absent-mindedly at the students. They were all so happy and laughing. They knew nothing about the dangers of the outside world. They were all in their own little bubbles... And I despised every one of them.

I seemed to have developed tunnel vision because soon I could only see boys. There were so many of them. Way too many. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to react around all those boys. I mean, what a great place to experiment with my boy problem? I should've tried going to the grocery store first, or something. And now I was panicking. What if I couldn't do it? What if as soon as I stepped into the school some boy bumps into me, or something, and I completely freak out? What if one of them tries to talk to me?

I couldn't do this. I wasn't ready. What was I thinking? Did I actually think I could just walk into a school with hundreds of boys and all my problems would be erased? Nope. That wasn't going to happen, I was going to be like this the rest of my life.

My breathing picked up and I grew dizzy. Apparently I had an early-morning panic attack scheduled that I didn't know about. My hands start shaking, and I clench them into fists, digging my finger nails into my palms painfully. As my breathing grows out of control I wrap my arms around my waist and lean my forehead against the steering wheel, forgetting about the world around me, only thinking about my own self-pity.

My thoughts swirl around in my head as I gasp for breath. I was never going to be better. I was never going to be able to be within one hundred feet of someone who has a Y chromosome. I was a lost cause. I was worthless.

I grow angry at my pathetic self, and I slam my fist into the stearing wheel, letting out a sob. Just then someone taps on my window.

I jump, shrieking, and throw and hand over my heart. I look at my window to see who almost gave me a heart attack, and there's the most beautiful boy standing outside my car door with a worried expression on his face. I stare at him, mesmerized.

He was seriously beautiful. He was tall, had pale skin, a chiseled jaw line, the strangest color of perfectly-messy copper hair, and a pair of piercing, emerald green eyes. Beautiful wasn't good enough. I needed better words.

But he was still a boy, no matter how beautiful, and he was standing dangerously close to me, even through glass. He motioned for me to roll down my window and I stiffened. My mind was screaming for me to throw my key into the ignition, squeal out of this parking lot, and don't stop driving till I was back in Phoenix.

Instead, I rolled down the window. Why? I could never tell you.

"Yeah?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"I'm sorry I scared you," the boy apologized in a melodic voice. "But I was wondering if you were alright? You look like you're about to kill your steering wheel, and...I don't know, I just wanted to make sure you were ok," he said, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable.

"Uhhh..." I answered intelligently, trying to think of a good answer. I looked down at hands, which currently had a death grip on the stearing wheel, and let go. I couldn't think of a good, rational answer for Sonny Corinthos-ing my steering wheel. I must've looked like a true nut-case.

"You know what? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried," the boy said clearly regretting interrupting me. I look up at him, and he seemed to be taken aback by something.

I nodded at him. "Um. Thanks, though," I said, reaching over to grab my things. The boy steps back from my door as I opened it. My panic attack must've really exhausted me because as soon as I put my feet on the ground, they give out and my things fly out of my hands. I brace myself for the fall, but my face didn't make impact with the pavement like it should have. Instead, I felt two strong hands grab me and set me back on my feet.

"Woah! There you go. Are you alright?" he asks, chuckling lightly. I freeze and stare at his hands, which are still on my arms. He drops them, and shoves them into the front pockets of his jeans.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you. I'm just clumsy," I finally say awkwardly. "Um, I should get in there," I say, nodding toward the school. "I've got to get my schedule and...stuff." I pick up my things quickly. "Thanks again," I say before I rush past him towards the school.

I felt his eyes burning holes into my back as I walked away, but thankfully he didn't stop me. I also noticed everyone else staring at me, to which I flush and watch me feet as I move, willing them not to trip again.

I make it safely in the school and spot the front office easily. As soon as I step inside, I'm greeted by an overly-enthusiastic, "Hello! You must be Isabella! We've been waiting for you!" That wasn't creepy at _all_. I turn to the source of the creepy greeting and see a portly middle-aged woman with brown hair and blue eyes.

"Um, just Bella," I tell her, stepping up to the desk she's sitting behind.

"Ah, just Bella. I like that better," she says. I'm guessing that was supposed to be a compliment. "I'm . Let me get your schedule..." she, shifting through some papers.

"Here we go! Here's your schedule and a map of the school," she tells me as she hands me the papers. "So..." _Uh oh._I took one look at her eyes and knew immediately that she was a gossiper. Like an honest-to-goodness gossiper. I knew I was in trouble. She was going to keep me in here as long as possible until she got what she wanted from me. She was going to pull my brain apart piece by piece--

Ok, so I'm over reacting, but you get the idea. She was a serious gossiper, and she lived on the latest gossip. And I had to get out of here.

"So, Bella, how are you liking Forks?" asked. She was going to start with the easy questions.

"I only got here yesterday, but it's good so far," I answered, shifting my weight from one foot to another.

"Well, that's good. And how's the chief doing?" Of course. The chief of police's daughter from a flighty wife moves back in with her father. There was so much potential with how that story could go. _You have no idea, lady._

"He's great," I answered with a little more enthusiasm. She looked disappointed. Good.

"So, why did you move he--" Just as she was about to ask the most important question of all, a group of kids rushed through the door. I made my escape then, slipping around them and out into the hall. I relaxed slightly. I was going to have to avoid that woman as much as possible.

I looked at my schedule and map and made my way to my first class with everyone staring at me the whole time. I took extra care not to make any sort of contact with any of the boys.

The classes went by pretty smoothly. None of the boys tried to talk to me, or anything. Well, except for one, but he didn't scare me. I could probably beat him up with my pinky finger. Eric Yorkie. The quintessential nerd.

Two girls did follow me around, though. Jessica _Stanley_ and Lauren Mallory. Yes. Stanley. The woman in the office's daughter. And all they wanted to talk about was the Jonas Brothers. They both had the first three periods with me and insisted on sitting next to me in every class. They were clearly only hanging around me for the attention. I wanted to bang my head against the nearest wall.

By lunch time I couldn't take it anymore, so I told them I was going to the bathroom and that they should go ahead to lunch. Once I was done not going to the bathroom, I hurried back to the cafeteria, searching for the pair of them. They were sitting on the far end of the cafeteria with both of their backs to me. I snuck into the line to get my food, hoping to get lucky. Once I had my salad and lemonade in tow, I glanced around the cafeteria. Jessica and Lauren still hadn't spotted me, so I looked for the best table to hide at. To my luck I spotted a mostly-empty table on the opposite end of the room where the two wouldn't see me, so I hurried in that direction.

Two girls sat at that table. One was tall, blonde haired, blue eyed, and looked like she belonged on the cover of a magazine. It hurt what little self esteem I had to look at her. The second was tiny, probably under five feet tall, with spikey, black hair, pale skin, and hazel eyes. She was just as beautiful as the other girl.

I made it to the table, and the two girls looked up at me. "Um, do you mind if I sit here?" I asked uncomfortably.

"Sure. Take a seat," the tiny one said in a high-pitched voice. "I'm Alice and this here is Rosalie." I nodded.

"I have a feeling that I don't have to tell you my name," I smirked. They both laughed.

"Nope. Bella, right?" Alice asked.

"Yep. Just Bella," I answered, glancing around, making sure Jessica and Lauren couldn't see me.

"Looking for someone?" Rosalie asked.

"Huh? Oh, more like hiding from someone. I just had three classes with Jessica and Lauren, and they've been driving me crazy," I explained, giving one more look around the room before I was sure the two couldn't easily see me. Alice and Rosalie laughed a knowing laugh, exchanging glances.

"Let me guess, all they talked about were the Jonas Brothers?" Alice asked, grinning from ear to ear.

"Yes! I'm ready to throw myself out of a window. You know, one that's just tall enough that I cause enough physical harm that I don't have to come here and deal with those two, but not too tall where I end up killing myself," I groan, putting my head into my hands.

"I know the feeling. The two idiots did the same thing with us when we first moved here at the beginning of the year. I set them straight, though," Rosalie ended, grinning mysteriously.

"And by 'set them straight,' she means she told them that if they didn't leave us alone, she would shove one of those horrible cds up their asses," Alice explained. I burst out laughing.

"I wonder if it would work if I told them that?" I asked, smirking.

"If what would work?" a deep, booming voice said behind me. I jumped and turned around, only to see the biggest, tallest boy(if that's what you could call him) standing behind me. He looked to be almost seven feet tall, muscular, with curly, brown hair, and sparkling, blue eyes. He was grinning, making him look five years old. He even had dimples.

He sat down next to Rosalie, chuckling and throwing his arm around her shoulder as Alice explained. "Bella's trying to find a way to get Jessica and Lauren off her back."

"Ah, they're leeching again, are they? Just tell them you like the Beatles. Maybe that will scare them off," the boy/man suggested. I smirked. Despite his scary size, his face was so friendly that he didn't scare me too much. It surprised me.

"Would they even know who they are?" I asked, smiling.

"I doubt it, but we'll figure something out," he winked. "I'm Emmett, by the way," he added.

"Bella," I answered. He nodded.

"I know," Emmett said, winking again. I scrunched up my nose.

"Of course you do," I mumble, making Emmett chuckle. I had a feeling that Emmett was constantly smiling and happy. Another boy walked up to the table just then. He was a spitting image of Rosalie. Same coloring and perfect features. He sat down next to Alice, who jumped immediately into his lap. I'm going to guess Rosalie and Emmett were together, and so were Alice and the new boy.

"Jasper, this is Bella, Bella, this is Jasper, Rosalie's twin." I nodded.

"Nice to meet you, Bella," Jasper said in a deep voice that had a twang of a southern accent in it.

"You to," I answered. I was strangely not frightened by this boy, either. He seemed like a very calm, easy-going person.

"Edward! There you are! What took you so long?" Alice exclaimed. Someone pulled the chair out that was next to me and sat down.

"Sorry, I got caught up in a conversation with Mr. Caldwell." I would recognize that voice anywhere. I looked over at the boy and froze. It was the same boy from the parking lot. And he was so much better looking up close. He smiled lightly at me.

"Bella, this is Edward. Emmett and Edward are my brothers," Alice introduced. My head shot in her direction. How are those three related? They look nothing alike.

"We were all adopted when we were little," she explained, seeing my confusion.

"Oh," I said, suddenly uncomfortable sitting next to Edward. It was one thing to sit across from Emmett and Jasper, but Edward was so close I could feel his body heat. That and he was the one person, besides , that I wanted to avoid. I concentrated on my breathing and picked at my salad, not very hungry anymore. I could feel him staring holes into the side of my face, but I made sure not to look at him.

"Dude, take a picture, it will last longer," Emmett said suddenly, making us both jump. My eyes involuntarily shot over to Edward, who met his eyes with mine. I creased my brows, mesmerized and unable to look away from the deep, emerald pools that were Edward's eyes. A chill ran down my spine. Only it wasn't from fear, and I couldn't place the feeling. Someone cleared their throat, and we both looked away from each other. Everyone was staring at us. I flushed and went back to not eating my salad.

"Have you two met before? Are we missing something?" Alice asked accusingly, yet slightly amused. I stiffened and glanced over at Edward, worried about what he would tell them.

"Yeah, we met earlier in parking lot before school," Edward answered vaguely.

"So what's the problem? Did you two jump into the back of your Volvo and get it on, or something?" Emmett asked teasingly. I dropped my fork, my breath catching in my throat, and my face paling. _Crap._

"Bella?" Alice said in a concerned tone.

"Sorry. Um, I'm not feeling well. I've got to go," I lied. I stood up quickly, the chair scrapping on the floor, grabbed my plate, and hurried out of the cafeteria after tossing away my uneaten food before anyone could stop me.

I rushed to the bathroom as quickly as possible and locked myself in a stall. I leaned against the door trying to get my breathing back to normal. I was breathing like I just ran a mile, and if I didn't get it back to normal I was scared I was going to faint.

There was a reason I stopped watching TV, and my reaction to what Emmett joked about was the reason. Sex was constantly talked about on television, and the mere hint at it sent me into a frenzy. When I watched that football game last night with Charlie, I made sure to not be in the room when the commercials were on. I thought I hated commercials before, but now I despised them. They were the evilest things ever. Almost every commercial at least hinted at something sexual. _Evil little thirty second devils._

I sank to the ground, not caring how disgusting it was, and worked on calming down. After about ten minutes, I knew the worst had past, so opened the stall door and went over to the sink. I splashed water on my face to wash away the cold sweat I had produced, and looked at my face in the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyes from not sleeping last night, and my face was paler then it's usual pale. I looked and felt exhausted. Panic attacks, even if I fight them off, do that to me. I took one more deep breath and walked out of the bathroom.

I head to my locker to get my things and check my cell phone. I needed to get to my next class, Biology, right now, or I'd be late. I glance at my map and make my way to class with eveyone still watching me.

I rush into the class room and stop in my tracks, almost causing the person behind me to run into me. _Kill. Me. Now._

Sitting at a table was freaking Edward Cullen reading a book. Why was I being punished? What have I done to deserve this? He looked amazing holding that book... I snapped out of it and go up to the teacher to get my book, shaking my head.

"Ah, the infamous Miss Swan! How nice to finally meet you! I'm Mr. Banner," the enthusiastic teacher exclaimed loudly. Every eye turned to me, including Edward's. Infamous? What the hell does that mean? I flush, of course. It wouldn't be me if my face didn't burst into flames every five minutes.

"W-what?" I manage to stutter.

"Oh, you know, you've been the talk of the town for the last couple of weeks, that's all. Let's see, let me get your book..." he says, picking up a textbook off of his desk. "Here you go, now let me see who you will be sitting with," says, handing me the book and flipping through a planner. My stomach drops. I have a bad feeling.

_Do not tell me to sit with Edward Cullen. Do NOT tell me to sit with Edward Cullen. Do. Not. Tell. Me. To. Sit. With. Edward. Freaking. Cullen. _I chant in my head.

"Ah! Here we go. Your partner will be Edward Cullen over there," Mr. Banner tells me, pointing to him. I drop my book. It makes a loud clap on the floor, making everyone, who had already turned around and lost interest, turn back to stare at me. I drop down and retrieve the book quickly, my face tomato red again.

"Are you alright Miss Swan?" the teacher asks, worried.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry. It just slipped out of my fingers, that's all. Thank you," I lie quickly and turn to head to my seat. I set my things down with shakey hands and sit down. Edward proceeds to stare at me while I try to ignore him.

"Bella?" he whispers quietly with a concerned tone to his voice.

"Hmm?" I manage to respond, not trusting my voice just yet.

"Are you alright?"

"Uh huh," I answer, staring toward the front of class.

"Did I do something?" he asks after a pause. I stiffen slightly.

"No. Technically not," I tell him as I fidget with my sleeves.

"What's that mean?" Edward pushes. I put my head in my hands and groan.

"Please, Edward," I plead, looking up at him. I can't help but notice the strange chill up my spine when I look at him.

Edward studies my face for a couple of seconds before he answers, "Ok. I'm sorry."

I nod. "Thank you," I respond with relief, rubbing my temples.

Just then Jessica and Lauren come up to me. Apparently they're in every class of mine. I groan inwardly, not wanting to deal with those two just yet.

"Bella!" Jessica exclaims in a shrill, nasally voice. "Where did you go at lunch? We waited for you!"

"I was sitting with the Cullens," I tell her, not feeling like lying anymore.

"What!?!" the two shriek at the same time. I cringe. I notice Edward cringing, also. That sound should be used to make dog whistles. "Why were you sitting with _them_?" Lauren asks, shooting a glance at Edward.

"Because I didn't want to sit with you," I tell them matter-of-factly. Edward stares at me, looking slightly amused.

"Why?" Jessica asks, shocked.

"Because I can't stand you two. I can't stand the Jonas Brothers. Their music makes me want to throw myself out a window. And you two make me want to bang my head on my desk. _And_ your voices make my ear drums bleed. So if you two don't leave me alone, I'm going to shove a Jonas Brothers poster up your ass," I rant, glaring at them. The two stare at me with wide, bulging eyes and hanging jaws. Lauren recovers first and she grabs Jessica by the hand, pulling her away.

"Come on, Jess. We don't want to be friends with that bitch," she tells her friend in a not so quiet voice. I just smirk and roll my eyes. Edward chuckles next to me.

"What?" I ask, turning towards him, still smirking.

"Nothing. Nothing. I'm just going to make sure not to talk about my piano too much around you, that's all," Edward teased, grinning. Man, he was beautiful when he smiled.

"You play the piano?" I asked, unable to help myself.

"I'm kind of scared to mention it," he joked. I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I do," Edward answered.

I nodded. "You're lucky. To be able to do something like that, I mean. I'm not good at anything," I tell him wryly.

"Oh, come on. You have to be good at _something_. No one's completely talent-less," he says.

"Well, I'm that no one. Unless you count being clumsy a talent," I tell him.

"I don't believe you. There's got to be something. What do you do in your free time?" Edward asks.

"Uh...I read? I write sometimes," I say before I think about it. _Crap! Dangerous territory._

"You write? That's something. What do you write about?" he asks. _Oh, well, I just wrote and published a book about me being raped with Volturi Publishing, that's all. _

"Uhhh..." I say intelligently, picking at my nails, trying to think of an answer. Luckily, Mr. Banner calls the class to order at that moment, so I turn to the front of the room. Edward stares at me for a second before he writes something on a piece of paper and pushes it to me. I look down at the neatest handwriting I've ever seen.

_"Sorry"_

I sigh and look up at him with an apologetic face and shake my head. I pick up my pencil and write in my clumsy handwriting below his elegant script.

_"Not your fault. Stop appologizing. __I'm__ sorry."_

_"For what?"_

_"For being so difficult." _Edward frowns at that.

_"You're not being difficult." _I shrug my shoulders and turn my attention back to the teacher. Edward lets out a frustrated sigh, but I ignore him. I _was_being difficult, and I wasn't worth the effort. I wasn't worth anyone's attention, for that matter. I was just an emotionally damaged girl with no future. And I was disgusting. Who would want to be friends with me? After what happened to me, who would want to be within a mile of me? I just wasn't worth it.

I tried to pay attention to the teacher, but all I could think about was how close Edward was to me. His scent would come my way every time he moved. He smelled like vanilla, yet manly, warm, and something I couldn't put my finger on.

The clock taunted me by moving at an excruciatingly slow pace. I sat stiffly, uncomfortably, in my chair, waiting for the bell to finally ring. When the bell finally rang, a shrill, annoying sound, I tried to throw my things together quickly to avoid another conversation with Edward. I only made it to the hallway.

"Bella?" I sigh in defeat.

"Yes?"

"Don't ever doubt yourself," he said simply, looking me straight in the eye, before walking off. My jaw dropped.

_What the hell? Did he read minds, or something? How did he know what I was thinking?_

I stood frozen in the hallway for a few seconds, shocked, before I shook my head to clear my thoughts and go to my next class.

The rest of the day went by slowly. People stared at me, I got hit in the head with a volley ball in gym, people stared at me some more... And as much as I tried not to, all I could think about was Edward. He mesmerized me. He confused me. He was beautiful. We talked, what, ten minutes in all today? And now he was all I could think about. I don't know what was going on with me. Shouldn't I be running for the hills every time he came near me? Sure, he made me nervous, but he didn't scare me. He baffled me to the nearest extent, and I was fasinated.

**A/N: PHEW! This chapter was frustrating. I think I wrote like five versions of it in all. Sorry about how long it took.**

**Thanks to everyone for all the story alerts, favorite stories, and reviews! They mean the world to me. Virtual hugs to everyone.**

**I made a Twitter a couple weeks ago. I don't know why. I just did. So now I've written 120 tweets to myself. One guy tried to follow me, but I blocked him. I don't think he read my story, I think he was just some random guy. His latest fifty tweet were about a youtube video on coldsores? But if that was you, and you really did read this, message me. I'm sorry. **

**Anyways, follow me? www(dot)twitter(dot)com/tbatt247 or there's a link on my profile.**

**Also, I'm still on the search for a beta. Let me know if you are interested.**

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**Thank you so much, lovelies! MWUAH!**


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